Stress and the Christian Marriage
Stress is a big part of all of our lives and we can never get rid of all of it. Some stress is actually good for us but too much can do us a lot of harm. That includes putting a great deal of pressure on the relationship in a Christian marriage. All of those little daily stresses add up and chip away at the marriage. It doesn’t require a storm to bring down a note tree but only tiny bugs eating away over a period of time.
Too much stress or chronic stress has certain negative physiological results that also impact our relationships. Our bodies and minds are literally weakened and we are not able to effectively deal with problems when they arise.
An easy way to understand how this works is to think of the time when both the husband and wife get home from work after an exhausting day. They are both worn out. There is a meal that needs to be prepared and maybe kids that have to be taken care of. Parents may need to take their children to their activities and may have also brought work home from the office that they must complete. That is a lot of stress which may have nothing directly to do with the marriage relationship but will definitely impact it.
The first order of business is for a Christian couple to recognize the problem. Having realized that their lives are overloaded and that it is having a negative result on their relationship as husband and wife, they then can sit down and make a plan for reducing stress.
This sometimes can require some difficult choices but the couple should have a clear understanding of the consequences if they do not make some changes. What value is there to living in the biggest house in the neighborhood if the couple is always exhausted and fighting and bickering with each other?
Maybe one or more of the jobs is a problem. While the solution may not be immediate, it may be that the husband or wife needs to look for other work that may not require being away from home as much as the job they already have. It may be that a couple has to find ways to cut back on their financial obligations which would make it possible for them also to scale back the amount of time they have to work.
With Christian couples that have children that are involved in numerous activities, it may be necessary to cut out some of those activities. It may be difficult for the children to understand the reasons that the parents must make the tough decisions for the sake of the family as a whole.
Not taking the time to develop a strategy for dealing with stress can over time lead to severe Christian marriage problems that require the help of a licensed Christian counselor to resolve. Much better to be proactive and do the things that are necessary to keep from getting to that point.
